From Mezzanine 2022/06/28

Today I went to the English conversation class again. I have written my diary in English and Japanese for over a year, even if I have never decided to do something great. I just wanted to do the action like this. So the people who like me accept this as evidence that I like English. Also, I feel thrilled when I talk with ALTs and learn about America and other countries, or global facts. Today I learned the difference between America and Japan, and I enjoyed it. I feel thankful for this.

I remember the movie "Arrival" by Denis Villeneuve. In this movie, a female linguist appears. She tries to understand the language of aliens. She learns it from aliens directly. It leads her to learn the concepts and also their way of thinking by them. By learning it, she has been changed, and her points of view and values also have been changed... an interesting movie. For me, I exactly feel that my points of view have been changing by learning English. By using English I can feel that I can think about things cleverer and remake my opinions better. Or I can say this. I have got another way of thinking by learning English.

This might be the attitude of speaking that "Our language must be English only" and throwing the beauty of Japanese away or also omitting the goodness of thinking things Japanese. I never think that thinking Japanese works as low performance. But I can say this. Since starting writing in English, my Japanese has changed and my ways of thinking also have done so. All I want to say is how important for us of using another language and changing ourselves drastically. We can think it is more important or more thrilling than we imagine.

Then, how that kind of changing myself would be? I have learned through various thoughts that I am not any static thing but the one which can change its shape like water. But in this case, the change doesn't arrive instantly. All I do is just inputting English into my mind or my head and train my black box/unconsciousness. How it would appear as a certain change? What would I find if I keep on learning English? I learn English and try to find how to use two selves in myself while waiting for the day I can be a true bilingual who has the sensitivity to various cultures.