BGM: Fishmans - 新しい人
Today I've read Shinji Miyadai's old book (宮台真司『日本の難点』.) In this book, the author Miyadai tries to explain/teach about what kind of difficulties this country Japan have had. Although it was written/published at an older time from now (in 2009), the content is still actual/useful for me. By this reading, I have thought about my past days.
Although I could have understood this book partially, I can have a certain sympathy with Miyadai's opinion/attitude. He says that you have to encounter any greater person, and also you have to be "influenced" by him/her (he uses the word "infected".) I guess this suggestion must be controversial (like other suggestions/ideas by him well.)
I remember - when I was in my 20s (especially at my really confused/troubled period) I tried to find out any solution about them by reading Miyadai's books (therefore, in a way I was a kind of serious/heavy believer of him.) Therefore you can say that I had been "infected" by him. At those days, he must have been really greater/bigger charisma for me. And I had been really a smaller, dumber one.
Not only by Miyadai, but also I have been infected by some charismas. I tell you - For example, Damon Albern, Haruki Murakami, Ludwig Wittgenstein, etc. (I have to admit that I have been infected by only "men", not any "women".) By copying them, it seems that I could have get bigger/greater eventually. As you know, Miyadai is really a "notorious" sociologist (he must be a kind of "heel".) But, even now I respect him (but I won't copy his "too" romantic, and also masculine ideology so heavily.)
Now, writing this journal, though this idea must sound really ridiculous but I write. How do you see about ME? At least, now I see I am a really simple, and also optimistic one. When I was a terrible Miyadai believer, I tried to become any special charisma/famous leader on the net who can clarify anything. But now, I can accept that there are a lot of enigmatic things in this world. That's the meaning/evidence of being adult/matured for me, though I must be still childish.