BGM: Elvis Presley - Are You Lonesome Tonight?
At last, from today I've come back to my workplace. Indeed, I had got so nervous therefore I couldn't do my work well at first. But when I started moving my body to carry or walk at there, my body started getting warm. The heat certainly reminded me of the actual senses of the work, and it let me move more actually. Oh! Like Marilyn Manson sings, my workplace surely loves me - even though I can't love my work well.
Anyway, at last the Christmas time has come. But all I have done is not dramatic. As always, I spend my free time with doing my daily routine (reading, listening, and watching.) For example, today I've enjoyed The Lilac Time's great albums on Spotify (yes, their albums are for me marvelous treasures.) In a way, I must be really a lonely person. I accept that. Oh, The time I can meet my soulmate will come?
There is an interesting word in Japan. "Cri Bocchi". This is a shortened expression of "Christmas Bocchi." "Bocchi" means "Hitori Bocchi," In other words, "Bocchi" means "really lonesome" so this slang can mean that "even though in Christmas you are so lonely (that you can't enjoy any romance in this romantic season)." Yes, this is just a nonsense idea. But in Japan, it seems there has been really a certain strong pressure which is working upon us to experience any romance, and (absolutely) consume that kind of love and dream.
Indeed, I accept that I have had to spend this Christmas as a single, lonely person. You would say that I must be an unhappy, miserable person. But about this issue, I have to say that "God only knows" when I will meet my final, really precious soulmate. I have to wait for the moment. And that future moment can't be treated/accepted from the logic of capitalism and consumer society.
In short, I have to live my own, my personal life as one and only, truly gifted one. Indeed, I even imagine how many lovers would enjoy their romantic lives tonight... Oh! I couldn't tell you about the Michael Sandel's book I have read today...