I worked early today. TBH, I couldn't have expected that I could endure today's work - I even thought that it would drive me mad. Indeed, I wanted to go back to my room as soon as possible. But when I arrived at my workplace, my body remembered what to do at there. Yes, you would think it must be unbelievable/enigmatic. But, that's the fact from my viewpoint.
My body remembers what I should do at there. Although I am not a diligent philosopher as Descartes who believes how my body could be wise, I do believe in the sleeping possibility in my body in somewhere in my mind. My work has been consisted as physical work, therefore I use my body (my fingers, arms, foot, etc.) a lot. And if I start moving my body, the movement lets me find out various ideas - therefore I start thinking that I should do my movement before I think. Yes, as an old quote says, "leap before you look."
But - why do I keep on doing my work? Even I can't answer this question. Once my doctor and ex-friends had suggested me that I could stop my work anymore - instead I could live with a certain basic welfare. Indeed, it's a cleverer way to live on. But, these two days experiences (escaping from my workplace) tells me that I would get dumber if I quit my job and stay away from this real world. In other words, you would feel that it could sound too much, but for me the work life could polish this self's soul/mind. Besides money, that could be a meaning of life.
A female friend of mine had recommended me a book by Eimi Yamada, who is one of the most popular female authors in Japan. I answered her that I have never read any books by Eimi Yamada because her books were for women only. The friend answered me that great literature won't matter the issue of sexuality. It goes beyond that difference - I agree with her opinion. So, after today's work, I went to the library and borrowed one book by her. But, after having dinner I slept so deeply. Yes, I am still within my feeling of tiredness.