BGM: Nav Katze - Never Not (Black Dog Mix #1)
I finished reading Shuntaro Tanikawa's book, "Proses". The proses by Shuntaro Tanikawa was so lyrical, therefore I could enjoyed the "rich taste of Japanese itself". I thought about his brain which can product his marvelous poetry and also these proses. Where can such a smartness of him come from? I remember Natsuki Ikezawa's comment about any great Japanese authors as Kunio Tsuji and Saiichi Maruya. Are those great writers/artists the "chosen geniuses"? Or they are just ordinary human beings? I can see that Shuntaro Tanikawa's real figure is just the one of an ordinary, snob person. I can't see that he is trying to pretend he can be greater than the real. Just a natural, and cool guy... Indeed, there must be some geniuses we can't see what they have been thinking certainly. But I am attracted by the people who are showing their ordinary, banal figures but also having their greatness within those figures. I call them as "tacticians". For me, Haruki Murakami, Kenzaburo Oe, and Paul Auster are that kind of "tacticians" (I welcome your different opinions would come). And I am also thinking that I want to live that kind of "ordinary" "orthodox" life with expressing myself. I live within this world, and also talk to it.
This morning I had a meeting about English on ZOOM. I found that there was a member from India besides us, the Japanese members. I was surprised at his great Japanese which enabled him to write some great examples of Japanese sentences. I thought that this meeting had a really high level (every member must keep on trying to do their effort in their lives). Today we created some examples by using the phrases "after all" and "all year round", and I created "I've been wearing the same pants all year round". Then it made other members laugh... I used this "pants" as a kind of clothes, so not as an underwear. But they accepted that "pants" as an underwear... Of course, this is not wrong understanding. If we listened to that example as British English or Japanese context, it would be accepted as a natural one (and I learned after this meeting this. Tonikaku Akarui Yasumura, who is now popular in England, is saying his underwear as a "pants" on the stage). OMG... But that happening was accepted as a funny, great one. I was glad to learn that because my "too natural" comments would be accepted as that kind of funny ones (BTW, in England we say that kind of clothes as "trousers").
This afternoon, with reading the book "Proses", I finished compiling the record of the meeting about autism we had had ten days ago. I look back at the past we autistic people learned our handicap, and it is impressive that a participant said her difficulty which came from her autism had reached to the limit by using the word "explosion". I can see what the "explosion" could be by looking at "my personal" past days. Every day's little stress by miscommunication would become a huge cluster in ourselves, and we couldn't solve it effectively therefore it "explodes" in ourselves one day... In other words, how can we solve that problem before we experience the "explosion" or "meltdown"? Me, my "meltdown" is just like to drink heavily, to buy something too much, and to eat a lot. Although I quit alcohol, but I have to accept that still I buy something on Amazon by one click. How can I solve the problem before "melting down"? How can I do maintenance my mind? I learned again that how important to let the gas in my mind out by using LINE because recently I had a trouble about money management again.
This evening I went to the "danshu" meeting. I confessed the event I had experienced last Sunday. It was not related with any traumatic past drunken days... Other person talked about a man who he had met on Facebook. They had a great, precious opportunity therefore it wouldn't come again if we lose it. He ended his story with saying that we should share the pleasant time each other without staying within our shells alone. I remembered the meeting I had had this morning. Or this "danshu" meeting has been also a great opportunity for me. I have enjoyed this "danshu" meeting about 8 years, but still have learned a lot of interesting, great things as the lessons. After the meeting, I spent the time with reading Fernando Pessoa's "The Book of Disquiet". The main character Pessoa describes must be the on e who has shown an orthodox worker, and also a great owner of the huge poetry talent (he must be "gifted"). I am enjoying "The Book of Disquiet" even though I have read this already for 5 times. During that Pessoa's book, I read Shuntaro Tanikawa's poems. After passing 10 pm, I posted my poetry because I had forgot doing so. My poetry creating becomes a certain, stable habit?
