BGM: 平沢進 - サイレン
It was a day off today. TBH I have started using the app, clubhouse, again. Mainly it's for outputting/venting myself in English. Today I joined an online meeting with the host person who I had met via that clubhouse. At the promised time, I started ZOOM to join. Today we just enjoyed a "chitchat" which had no certain topics. I said about myself at the beginning, and we also talked about the Shiso city I am living. I am an autistic person so not good at doing this kind of small talk, but the host and other members cared me a lot so I could enjoyed that time. Suddenly, that host asked to me as "Would you have any questions?", and that made my mind blank. But I said to them as "Why do you learn English?", and we talked about that question a lot (I guess so). Is my ability of small talk increasing? If so, then it would be because I have experienced a lot of chance of that talking by having attended the meetings with my friends, or my communities usually.
After that meeting, I went to the library at the noon to borrow some Edward Said's books. And I went to AEON. But I didn't want to eat something well so just had Zarusoba, Japanese noodle, as lunch. After having that Zarusoba, I thought what to do the next, but I couldn't see it. Indeed, there were many things to do as my tasks. If I was just bored, then I would read any book (I just borrowed Said's great works!). Or I could join in any room on clubhouse to learn English. Today was the day I should write an e-mail about my job to my job coach so I had to write it... But, TBH I didn't want to do them. My inner fire had gone out... But in this case, I don't wait for the time my fire starts again. Instead of that, I just try to do something I should do without any concern. Try that, then my body would catch the rhythm or groove. That lights my fire again. Probably this is a lesson I had learned from my job. I just wear socks even if I don't want to go to work... and this is "my method" to live my life.
Among the books by Edward Said which I had borrowed, I read "Conversations With Edward Said". I remember the days I had read his "Orientalism", even though I just read its shallow surface only. I thought that Said must have two faces in himself, therefore was really an amazing intellectual. Indeed, he was a straight "controversial" person, but his theory has a certain sensitivity so it can't be judged/understood easily as "criticizing Europe" or "supporting Islam". And also, I should learn from Said's that sensitivity of soft attitude. Said was never the critic who declared from simple "political correctness" because that could be so simple and rude. But I have to read his works actually to talk about him more. What could I learn from his works as "Orientalism" and "Covering Islam"?
This evening I attended to the "danshu" meeting. After that, I went back to my group home and enjoyed chatting on clubhouse again. But in this time I couldn't stay still in one room. I joined various rooms recklessly and talked about the education problem or autism. After that struggle, at last I joined the room Japanese learners had got together. At there we talked about basic Japanese language. It seems that people must forget the boom of clubhouse (I also couldn't follow that boom). It was once quite a popular app in Japan... but now I find that it is an interesting app to enjoy talking about such interesting topics. And I guess that this kind of expression from oneself in English positively would become a grand way to improve English. I remember this morning, the room in English on ZOOM... The cartoon "PEANUTS" was right. "The squeaky wheel gets the grease".
