BGM: Oasis - Live Forever
Today was a day off. This morning it was a really fine day and I went to the mountain again. I found that a friend of mine, Judith, opened her room on clubhouse after a long time. She had talked about "self education in our life", and that made me think a lot. I have read that our life almost reaches to 100 years long by a book. How should we educate ourselves in such a long life? How should we learn? They are up to us... As my "self education in our life", I choose to keep on learning English through various social media like this. I want to talk about this at the meeting I have tomorrow... For me, learning English is not for getting any good jobs or starting any "tasty" or "meaningful" life. Of course, those kind of reasons of learning English is really acceptable. But I confess that I am exactly being helped or cured by learning it. That's a simple fact for me. Building tiny achievements as delivering my thoughts to other people. That is big for me. In short, my learning is from my inner desire, an "introspective" motivation.
I enjoyed listening to Brian Eno's "Music For Airport 1" at the mountain. The vast and rich greenery at there stunned me again. Oh, what a rich world. Indeed, there was no river. But I could enjoy various conversations with myself in that nature like Ernest Hemingway's short stories. As thinking about that "self education" issue, I felt that a certain desire is flooding from my heart. A will that says "I want to live and enjoy this life more and more!". That is strange and wonderful for me. When I was a heavy drinker, I believed seriously as "anytime I can die". But now, I think "I want to enjoy more". Living, and learning more and more. That is a great fact. If I didn't quit drinking alcohol, then I wouldn't see that this world can be so beautiful like this, and also I have such a greedy mind in this mind. But I won't think that greedy mind is bad. Although this might sound really narcistic, I think that greedy mind and curiosity are the sources of my energy that enables me to learn on and on.
I shared some pics I had took at there through Discord, MeWe, and Facebook. My friends looked at them and gave me "likes". Ah! it is really unbelievable to me. This real world is full of paradoxes because once I had been hated terribly by every classmate. But now, if I share various content to the world following Audrey Tang's open mind or large heart, then my friends get pleased. The operation system of this world has changed during I was sleeping? I notice that this world starts having tenderness of understanding autistic people like me. Although I have never been changed! And I guess that all people I have met each other would agree with this. I am basically just a little bookworm, a music junkie, and a pervert. Using Ryunosuke Akutagawa, a legendary Japanese writer's words, I say that I am a hobbit. That's all.
This afternoon it was really boring so I went to AEON and bought Kouichiro Kokubun, a Japanese philosopher's new book. Suddenly I met a person who we had learned each other at the English conversation class. She taught that she reads my diary a lot. Yes, she read with a passion... Of course, this is really wonderful for me. I remember that some members also had praised my diary at last Monday's meeting we had at the temple. Oh my gosh. I am just writing my truth I am looking at, I am learning every day. I say this with courage that I never think what kind of topic would attract readers. But! the readers enjoy this diary really deeply. This diary shortens the distance between various people and me certainly. This is a real MIRACLE for me, and even I think that this is the best moment in my life. Happiness is such a simple and clear thing? Now I notice that I have been living in the world where is full of happiness. Rich nature in Shiso city, graceful connections with trustable people... what a wonderful world.
