Everything doesn't go easily. I am reading Mizuho Hokari's "Montaigne". This book tells us how was the way of Montaigne's thinking, and it seems the way of mine so I want to read Montaigne's "Essays" again. People are just idiots and therefore never be all mighty. Just facing that fact honestly lets us move forward. This is similar to conservativism (or they might be the same) I guess. I have read "Essays" but couldn't read it completely, so trying to read it until the end might be one way of solution of the "middle-age crisis".
Being influenced by "Montaigne", I thought about how I should accept this era I am living in. Now is the hard time. We are still suffering from wars, and our lives are basically poor. Corona still rules the world... but the era Montaigne had lived in was also a terrible time, and I learned that even in that era some people tried to live honestly. However the era goes, we can build our lives freely with honest wills. That was the trial Montaigne did with writing "Essays". Me, writing this diary would make my philosophy or policy more perfect.
Today I met an ALT person. We enjoyed talking in English for a while. Ah, as I wrote before, once I decided that "I have never studied abroad so I can't speak English", but it was ridiculous. Where there is a will, there is a way. I got arrived at the chance of doing a volunteer job of interpreting and learned a precious thing. There must be no ending to learning languages. But does learning languages depend on our talents? I don't think so. I don't rely on the word "talent". I like it, and it decides everything.
At last, I like writing, and speaking English. I like them so I can keep on doing them even if I have to face difficulties. Being like is pretty strong... there must be many people who are more fluent than me. But I won't compare myself with others. Of course, I adore good speakers. Even I pretend to be them to learn their ways of speaking. But basically, I believe passion in me. Passion... now, I am being moved by childlike curiosity. The emotion of "I want to learn!". That "I want to learn" is the all. I try to be honest about that passion. I am moved by that straightly. That power within myself might be my "talent".