2022/09/29 English

I had to do struggling against the side effect the whole day. From this morning I felt too chilly. Indeed, now is the day after autumn had come. That might be why. My left arm which I had been vaccinated on yesterday hurts. So I spent this day lying on the bed at my group home. I slept very, very well that I couldn't express how to describe it. At 10 am, I felt so sick that I couldn't go to Aeon as a morning activity. I just slept. I took lunch and slept again deeply. I had dinner and slept again... I could do nothing creative. This might happen in life because it is so long.

I read my friends talking about health on LINE. I reflect on myself. I had spent my days with alcohol and tried to hurt myself. Now I feel that "anyway, being fine is the best". I even believe that "being fine" can produce good work. I read Haruki Murakami's interviews and thought about this. Haruki is also a man who controls himself steadily and attends marathons and triathlons with his trained body. I learned that it was not realistic that think about things without any physical essence. A sound mind in a sound body... Yes, this is too extreme.

Me, I feel that it is a miracle that I can spend my days without any alcohol. Once I thought that being a heavy drinker mean being a great man, so I drank a lot... too much. I think that ordinary or normal life exactly has a deep truth. Living ordinary life must be extraordinary... I also think so when I read Haruki Murakami's words in his interviews I said above. Reflecting on my life, I try to stop drinking alcohol "just for today", have healthy meals, and live my life with a certain rule. That kind of conservative life has been my nature from the point I can't remember.

This evening I read Haruki's early short stories again. They are contained in "Kangaroo weather". His keen sense of nonsense ideas, and interesting storytelling made me impressed. It seems that Haruki has tried to keep his style always. But actually, he has tried to change constantly. So he never writes "Norwegian Wood Part 2". "Kafka On The Shore" has been said that it was the next version of "Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World", but you would find it must be quite different work from it if you read it. By the way, what should I do with reading Haruki so much, although I don't want to be a critic? Oh my...