A day off. In the morning, I had a strong obsession with a dirty desire for women as usual. "I want women"... So I talked about this at a server on Discord. Of course, the desire hasn't been solved (If I want to do so, I have to face my primal loneliness at first) but I felt a certain comfort by sharing it with my friends. I went to Aeon and thought about bubbly ideas with Primal Scream's "Vanishing Point" (BTW this album must be classic even if it isn't really 'pop'). How would this life be? I can't stay still in my trauma.
I've read Jon McGregor's "If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things". I heard this book is from England. Indeed, I could enjoy rich details or careful descriptions of this. I was reminded of some British movies. Or I felt that it was like "Manchester By The Sea" (although this movie came from America). For example, writing something like this by me can work as one of my actions. That's the same as the breath of the work of my friend. The connection of those actions can make some kinds of "remarkable things". I exactly felt that message.
At night I went to the English conversation class, and learned about the topic "sports and hobbies". The teachers told us about the Super Bowl, and we talked if we Japanese have such a big fiesta of sports as it. I talked about Yuzuru Hanyu's retirement, which I have learned by news lightly, with the student who sat next to me. After that, we talked about baseball. Professional baseball and high school Tournament. And we also watched Abbott and Costello's skit and learned some English from it. We had the seventh time of English lesson. But I couldn't remember the student name, who sat next to me. My memorizing ability is never perfect, this is from autism?
Going back to my group home, I read Jhumpa Lahiri's "Interpret of Maladies" a little. The author writes as drew the world in watercolor. Her 'global' or 'international' style, which traces this world's reality vividly, reminded me of myself. I never think that I am a serious nationalist, but I feel comfortable if I meet various 'Japanese' things. I can feel that I have a sense of 'Japanese' when I talk to friends on Discord or other social media. That sense might work at the base of my mind like feeling comfortable with rice and soy sauce. The sense which can be eased by Yasujiro Ozu's movie scenes or Ryuichi Sakamoto's piano playing. Yes, they exactly exist in me.
