Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/02/09 English

A day off. In the morning I went to AEON. As I said, I go to AEON though I have nothing to buy. I had finished reading Susumu Sogo's "Can't live without movies 2007-2009" completely and had a break with Flipper's Guitar's album "Camera Talk". My heart was moved when I had listened to a part of their song "Big Bad Bingo", which was sung as "Alone in the caleidoscope world/I wait for the end of the world". As I had listened to this song, again and again, the emptiness of this part fit my mood straightly. "Dream the dream of love, kiss, and cry as you like/Yeah, our Big Bad Bingo/No exit, Big Bad Bingo"...

It made me remind of Pizzicato Five's song which I had listened to seriously when I was young. For example, the part of their song "Tokyo Chorus". "Everybody must die"... Once I believed that Flipper's Guitar and Pizzicato Five as easy hypes. But if I listen to them, I am surprised by the fact that they sing a certain, too cool emptiness with lyrics and melodies, therefore I have sympathy with them. Once, in my youth (if I can use this word for describing my terrible days), I had nothing to believe and felt powerless. I will die even if I try to survive...

When I was young, I had already had a disappointment in my life completely. Having serious problems basically (I had not learned that I am an autistic person yet), I spent teen days pretending a living dead. I might write this but will do it once again. For me, the music that treats the hardship of life itself, pessimism, and the basic value of being alive even if life is such hard were Flipper's Guitar and Pizzicato Five. This might make me think that great artists must be pessimists. After that, I started getting into the pessimism that Haruki Murakami and Yasujiro Ozu represent.

I still believe that life must be hard. Living this life is to endure the madness of the world... As Flipper's Guitar sings "We learn each other that we can't learn ourselves". I exactly noticed their greatness of representing such a bitter taste of life and sharing it again today. And also I thought that I might not have got progressed if it said that their truth gripped my heart even if it had passed 30 years since I had listened to their songs in my teen days. Have I made any progress? I can't see but their songs colored my life pop exactly. That's an incredible truth.