This morning, I joined the daily English Zoom meeting again. Every Sunday is basically a so-called "free topic" day, so the members can enjoy what they have in their minds with a relaxed attitude. I shared with them how recently I have spent my days going to clinics and staying in bed. After that, starting at 10 a.m., I did today's work as usual.
Probably, everyone's life must have their simply "unlucky" periods several times. Sometimes, even though you haven't changed anything in your life's attitude yet, "the" things which you have to describe as "bad luck" can come to you... This morning, I started my work as usual, and although it was difficult for me to regrip the feeling I always feel at the workplace, it seemed to me that everything was going well. However, all of a sudden, I made a serious mistake (sorry, I can't tell you its details because it can make my company troublesome). Oh, my goodness! However, a trustworthy co-worker helped me a lot about this failure.
I like the idea of philosophy that a favorite philosopher of mine, Shunsuke Tsurumi introduces in his works, "human fallibility". This means human beings can have several wrong ideas in their minds, and also make plenty of mistakes in their behaviors or activities (at least, I understand it like this). So, the mistake I made was also simply possible, and so, I just need to be modest about my imperfection and try not to make the same pattern of mistakes. However, even though I might be right, I still feel embarrassed about it. However, anyway I can swear that I had done the possible "best solution" I could ever do at that moment (I guess so).
After that, even though my mind was still getting confused, I had a lunchbox and enjoyed my lunch break. After today's work, coming back to my room, I just stayed relaxed. Although I had a certain amount of time to read something, I couldn't get into that idea. Instead, I sent a LINE message about the failure I had made to my ex-job coach, and she answered me soon. I can't write about its detail precisely, but I'm feeling really thankful for her kindness. I'm autistic, which means I have an invisible and huge handicap within myself. So, people can misunderstand me (as I can make mistakes). But step by step, I must do my "best solutions" I can serve at every situation.
