By writing my memoir blog, I eventually started remembering my past days, especially my teenage days when I had accessed the internet world for the first time, and also started reading various critics' books such as Shinji Miyadai. It was in the '90s when the notorious cult, AUM incidents happened and that brought me to think about how I should think about what could be the meaning of life, and what I should do to live a better life (by this, I also have read some of Kazuya Fukuda's books at that period).
The meaning of life... Once, I had tried to think that our life must have been a waste of time, or an emptiness itself. Simply, every creature must develop/evolve their life without any purpose, and they will die equally in the end... Yes, you may say this must be a nihilism, an anarchism, or just a serious illness. However, at least within my mind in my 20s, This kind of idea had been haunting me as a sort of obsession. Life must have no meaning.
TBH, even now I can't answer this kind of obsessive, very profound question. However, about thinking the meaning of life, you should think about what position you would choose to think in. For example, thinking about this person called Disco Cat's life, I should be careful to do so to find out its meaning. For example, "I" want to find a certain meaning in this life, but "you" would find that "this Disco Cat" can only be a mob. This can be reversed completely like in the Othello game. "I" might think my life is basically nonsense, but someone finds it could be a treasure. Yes, that's another possible aspect of our life (I believe). As a character in Fellini's movie "La Strada" tells us, you can find any meaning even within a stone on a road.
This morning, I attended the Zoom meeting in English, where we shared various religious ideas such as what religion each one believes. As I have written above, I have spent my life without any religious ideas at all. Probably... For me, some philosophers, authors, and musicians like Ludwig Wittgenstein, Haruki Murakami, and Damon Albarn are still Gods, even though they would say I am not worth enough to be a fan of them.
