BGM: Sunny Day Service - 恋におちたら
It was a day off today. This morning, I went to AEON as usual, and at there I've read Nayuta Miki's book (三木那由他『言葉の風景、哲学のレンズ』) with Cornelius's great album "POINT". This book has given me plenty of clues of great philosophical ideas. This time, I've noticed this - Now, I've named myself as 踊る猫 ("throbbing disco cat".) Of course, this is not my real name, but people call me by this naturally.
In addition to that, I've chosen this pic as my icon. Therefore, in a way I can say that I've created this public image as myself, or a new chance of being born in this world to me. In other words, I can say I've started living my life newly.
Writing this... I've noticed that it is wrong. I've been already living my main life (as my real one from my true birthday, the moment I've come from my parents.) I have to say this. By naming me as that, I've started living the "alternative", or "second" life. On the internet, I can show this "alternative" life/self openly/actively. For example, I say my opinions on Facebook and X as this virtual self (not as an employee of my workplace.) In that way, I can stay in this world as a public person (a kind of cosmopolitan/netizen) as Kojin Karatani says.
Once, I had named a different name, and also given as a huge, awful image of "a gifted autistic person" to me. In that way, I had kept on declaring that I must have been a absolutely, ultimately weak person (a kind of social "victim".) It's like I had been in a mind jail. I needed to get out of there by trying to communicate with others (like Bob Dylan's song, I must have needed any friends who are watching me.)
Therefore, I have to be careful about the horrible, really strong power of "stories" or "fiction". For example, I usually come out the fact that I am autistic when I try to describe/introduce myself. But, as you can see, I have to keep on checking out if this description can cause a certain pressure toward the others. I need to be sensitive about that pressure. Yes, the real, important politic must start from this kind of tiny facts.
