BGM: Phil Collins - Another Day In Paradise
Today I worked late. I write this journal every morning, but I have been founding that it is eventually getting difficult for me. TBH, when I start writing, I find that I am literally empty even though I try to look at my memo pad. Yes, there is nothing to write in me. But, when/if I start moving my fingers to write something, various ideas come from somewhere to the surface of my consciousness. In other words, I say that I have trusted my fingers, not my brain. They are always smarter than this tiny, stupid brain.
This morning I started reading Bret Easton Ellis's "American Psycho" again. Reading this controversial one, I found that I had been surprised by a huge mystery. What does the main character Patrick Bateman think in his daily life? Indeed, it seems that he must have a lot of pieces/gadgets of knowledge. He must have a smartness. Brilliant... He talks about various trivial things passionately. But I can't see why he has to talk about them. In other words, he must be a heavily maniac person.
He talks about various fashionable ones, but I can't find how the true self of him is. The "true core" of him is mysterious... maybe, he doesn't have such a great true, pure personality? If he is such an empty person, then it can mean he is really powerless even though he does a lot of activity to survive this world, the urban life. I remember my past days... I had tried to learn/memorize a lot of things various critics had declared, to show how great I was. Then, in a way, I was once a tiny Patrick Bateman.
And... I can't treat this novel as an entertainment. It might come from the fact I find a certain boredom in this book. Yes, this novel has really too many pieces of trivial information. But, besides that, I confess that I tend to find my life within that pitiful Patrick Bateman's life. In other ways, I have a sympathy with him. Of course, I won't allow any murder. But, I should react honestly for this one.