BGM: Pizzicato Five - ファンキー・ラブチャイルド
Today I worked early. This morning I listened to The Art Of Noise's "Legs". It's a famous song in Japan because a Japanese magician Mr. Maric uses it as his theme song. When I listen to this kind of song, my body starts to move with it. Indeed, music is mysterious. Sweet melodies and throbbing rhythm move my mind and body actively. I always tune my mind with vast music. My taste is sometimes said as weird. When I was a student, I couldn't join my classmates' music talk because of that strange taste so I felt lonely. But now I can be proud of my taste.
I got a direct mail about the English conversation class we will have this month. I want to go there if I can. This year who will I meet in this class? I wonder if my skill of English is getting improved through this class, daily chatting, and my diary? I want to climb steadily through my whole life without hurrying up. But I have to accept that I can't climb without making mistakes. My life would go through hardship. But I try to stay steady, do actual practice, having English in my life. Write my ideas on my memo pad in English, try to use English in my daily life, and practice. This is my way of learning. Yes, it is really a cluster of tiny efforts.
I am still reading Morten H. Christiansen & Nick Chater's "The Language Game". This book tells me that we do our usual communications with actual "improvisation", and that makes our tradition the rule of conversation. It also means that we don't learn strict terms of usage of language to do communications. "Improvisation" is the key term of this book. It also tries to express "the collapse of our language". If we used language so randomly, it would end as a disorder? but these authors say that our language must not be such a fragile thing. It can contain rich chaos... This is a really great book to think about that kind of huge enigma of language.
At today's lunchtime, listening to Susumu Hirasawa's "金星", I imagined "How everything would be if I ran away from this life?". Run away from this job, this town... it says that the current state was brought from the fact I have never run away. I kept my work because there weren't other things to do. Yes, a really negative motivation. And... finally, I met my friends. Great and precious friends. I can see that I could live more smartly, and more pleasant without any stress. But it wouldn't suit me. I am... yes, I am a fool. I am never smart...
