I worked early today. This morning, I joined the daily English Zoom meeting. However, this time the connection was not so stable that I couldn't enjoy the discussion well. Basically, in this morning's session, we try to use the English language to discuss several topics (from daily news to political issues). Once I remember that I started joining this session, it was relatively more difficult than now to use English to express my opinions casually like this.
I guess probably because in this country people tend not to discuss several issues so passionately to see where we tend to have several differences. I won't say it should be prohibited, because of that kind of "perfectly-harmonized" atmosphere (in that air, we need no extra words to discuss several issues, therefore, there is almost no risk of making enemies by having serious discussions). However, I am a "stubborn" barbarian or autistic alien, therefore, I'm interested in this phenomenon.
Starting at 10, I did today's work. During this morning's work, I thought about several topics. Suddenly, although now I can't remember the exact reason why I had had such a huge destructive emotion, certainly I had almost gotten "captured" or literally "swallowed" totally from a big burning rage. I tried not to get haunted by that horrible emotion anymore, instead, I started trying to keep breathing deeply enough to get calm again. The trauma was from several miserable events' mixture such as the so-called "power harassment" I had to experience at here, and also the experience of being bullied I had to endure. I wrote those miserable memories pieces on my memo pad (if I could use ChatGPT during my working time!).
After that, I remembered a favorite Japanese philosopher, Shunsuke Tsurumi's theory, which said how the concept of "unlearning" could be so important for us. I understand that this word "unlearning" can mean that I need to get liberated from the lessons once I got mastered to try any brand new things (for refreshing my mind).
Now, reading the things I've written above once again, I think that I need to try to "unlearn" (it means trying to get free from) several traumatic memories to live a new life, even though it must be so difficult... Sorry, today's content is very chaotic. Anyway, that's life.
