I worked late today. This morning, I joined the daily English Zoom meeting. Today's topic was interesting: Nowadays young workers don't want to become managers because they want to treat their private time as more important than their jobs. TBH, as I've written in these journals, now I belong to a company as an autistic person (in other words, as a handicapped person). So I have never been a manager or any high-class worker like a president or a chief. From that position, I shared my thoughts with the other members (now, I also don't want to become a manager or achieve any big things, but I just want to enjoy learning English as a private hobby).
After that meeting, and having breakfast, I went to AEON. There, I started reading "Harry Potter", the text I had gotten from the English Studying Club, once again. I asked myself: Have I been improving my English abilities certainly? As you can see clearly, this sort of ability must be improved so quietly and slowly. Thinking about this, I felt a huge anxiety about it. Am I doing a completely wrong way to learn it? With Chapterhouse's music, I thought about this.
I sent a text message about this toxic emotion to an Indonesian friend (also, one of my important/respected English teachers), Judith san on WhatsApp. Then, she read my text and said I must be facing a so-called "burnout", therefore, I need to do other activities such as flashcards. Certainly, I usually join the morning meetings, attend the English conversation class, and write these journals. However, maybe now I'm struggling with a high "wall" or a so-called "block". I want to google the flashcards and also try other methods to keep learning more and more.
BTW... Reading the thing I've written above once again, I am impressed by the passion/spirit I have in my mind. Why am I so passionate about learning English like this? As I once wrote, when I was a heavy drinker I got completely lost in the middle of my life (literally, I had nowhere to go and just drank a lot of beer every day). Now, without this passion for learning English and reading books, my life would become so empty. However, now is the so-called diversity era so this sort of life must be approved/accepted as a possible option. At least, I believe so. The learning process goes on...
