This morning, I couldn't enjoy the daily English Zoom meeting because I still had a sore throat. Although it was difficult for me to judge whether I could work or not, my hunch said that I shouldn't go to the workplace. So, I called a co-worker and told them about my condition. After that, with Robert Wyatt's music, I stayed in my room. Lying in bed, I opened a favorite Japanese philosopher Shunsuke Tsurumi's book. Of course, I couldn't concentrate on that because of the cold. So, like switching between channels on TV by inspiration, I just enjoyed reading it randomly as I (or my instinct) wanted.
This afternoon, the admin of my group home came to my room. He asked me how my condition was and checked my body temperature (38.4). He said I should stop working one more day and go to the largest hospital in this town to cure the cold. I agree with his idea.
After that, I had nothing to do anymore. So, I just stayed still and opened another book by Tsurumi. I heard that Tsurumi was once a really terrible "outlaw" kid who had done several crimes repetitively, such as shoplifting. That background affects his theories. "I'm a sinful evil who might kill others, or buy any prostitute in a wartime". How about my case? Of course, I guess I won't kill others. However, in any emergency state, murder can be justified just to keep peace in society or not? For example, a sort of terrorism like that of September 11th, etc.
Then, how can I keep my current sanity anytime, not to be brainwashed by anything? This is a very difficult question, but at least, I believe that this sanity has been held by the casual communication with the other trustworthy friends. Now, I belong to a self-help group and also enjoy several groups in this town, such as the English conversation class, etc. In those groups, I sometimes show my several weaknesses (even make failures). Those experiences are still alive in my mind.
This evening, I joined the weekly Zoom meeting. Of course, I just stayed calm not to do hard work. What kind of activities can we do to make this city a more pleasant one? That was the main topic of this meeting, and we enjoyed talking freely/casually.
