I had a day off. TBH, yesterday I was so tired that I forgot to take my pills to sleep. So, I couldn't sleep well. This morning, with that sleepy head, I joined the daily English room on Zoom. On Sundays, we enjoy our discussion without having any special topic (so-called "free talk" day). Each member talked about themselves one by one. I shared my current job, the fact I'm autistic, and recently I enjoyed reading "Harry Potter" in English, etc.
After that, a participant asked us about their personal issue which was about a friend of theirs. That friend was also learning English, but her character was so introverted that she couldn't enjoy communication actively (probably, she couldn't have any initiative in any conversation casually). It has been an interesting question, so even now I am thinking about this. Does she need to "overcome" her introverted character?
I answered: Like her, once I couldn't enjoy casual conversation without having my self-confidence (even other members allowed me to speak in Japanese). Personally, I believe that we shouldn't try to overcome one's character completely because it means we almost try to deny one's dignity or uniqueness. Step by step, with truly trustworthy and tolerant people who can accept one's faults, we must keep trying to make practices for becoming better slowly and eventually (for example, how about inviting her to "this" brilliant group and having such a provoking time?).
After that, I went to the main house of my group home with my motorbike (but the road was still a little bit frozen at its surface, so I needed to be careful). There, I paid my room's rent and talked about the fizziness. After that, I had lunch and took a nap to "reboot" my brain. This afternoon, I didn't go out anymore, instead, in my room I read the essays by Haruki Murakami about AUM (a Japanese cult group) listening to Pearl Jam's bangers. After that, I joined an ongoing discussion on LINE about the possible reasons why we fell in love.
In my case, probably I have already written this, I can't tell the exact memory of mine about my first love. At 40 years old (oh, I can't even imagine "before" this age anymore!), I fell in one-sided love with a woman. That was a very "stormy" event for me like Haruki's "Sputnik Sweetheart". That "funny" event taught me that love can "crush" and even "improve" ourselves completely.
