I worked late today. This morning, I joined the daily English meeting on Zoom. TBH, at first I didn't get tempted to attend it because I didn't have strong motivation enough (mainly because of my laziness). However, TBH I wasn't satisfied with my skills in English. For example, I couldn't fully enjoy yesterday's English conversation class because I sometimes missed what the teachers taught us. Probably because that had come from my listening skills aren't good enough. So, I should practice more.
It was a fine day. After taking a shower and having breakfast, I went to the main house of my group home. There, I talked about recent issues in my life with the sub-admin, such as the anxiety I tend to feel at my workplace and the English conversation class (as I have written in this journal). After that, I used its dining room for taking notes in English as I usually do at AEON. With several AOR songs on Spotify, I wrote my ideas using English on the memo pad I had.
At first, this morning I felt that I was in a sort of "air pocket". It means that at first I felt completely separated/isolated from anyone, especially the people who help me a lot usually. I can't say the reason why clearly, but just that impression came from the several traumatic memories in my mind I guess (it must be so-called "imprinting"). However, the conversation made me think that there must be a strong bond with the other staff and intimate friends, therefore, it's only how I should spend a certain time to get used to feeling this connection with my soul. Anyway, all I could have done was just write the English memo. However, I won't say it was a waste of time.
From 1 p.m., I started today's work. At the break time, I read a message from a Japanese friend on WhatsApp. He wrote about the ongoing report about the scandal of Fuji TV (now, one of the largest issues in this country), and told me that there were terrible sexual harassment cases as this scandal can contain certainly. Yes, I agree with him. Maybe I could be the one who had done such terrible sexual harassment. How can I respond to those silly or even "blasphemous" acts once I have done as sincerely as I can?
