I worked early today. This morning, during working time I remembered this: Once, at an English Zoom meeting, when I shared about how I started the current life in my group home with other participants. "Probably, I could be the first autistic person who started using the system of a group home in this town" etc. Then, someone said, "Then, you must be a sort of role model". Even now, I can remember this comment vividly as a pleasant, even proudful one for me.
I also remembered this... On Discord, once someone said to me "You're my idol". Yes, these are just two examples. However, remembering those events, I tried to think about what the concept of a "role model" can be. For example. personally, who has been my role model? Soon, I can tell that, at first, Haruki Murakami comes to the surface of my consciousness. Also, Paul Auster, Quentin Tarantino, David Lynch, and other artists (or pop stars) in the 90s. Of course, I have not achieved anything as great as they've done. However, those examples make me believe that I can become a good person for them. Simply, it's unbelievable.
After today's work, while enjoying several R&B bangers such as Ms. Lauryn Hill at AEON, I wrote a part of my ongoing novel "Visitors". Even though I was so exhausted, I couldn't quit it. Since I was a teenager, I adored becoming an author. Even though I will never be able to become a pro, at least for me writing something (especially in English) works as a function of salvaging my mind actually (but who needs such a too-personal, selfish novel of mine?). Therefore, I will keep writing. However, there must be so many reasons why people start writing. I won't deny other people's possible motivation (even though those can be for fame or any material success).
This evening, I attended the first week of English conversation class. There, about 10 students (including me) learned English from two teachers. It was a pleasant time as usual... As content, we enjoyed the "2 truths and 1 lie" game. I had to tell a simple and white lie, therefore I wrote: "Once I enjoyed the TV drama series 'Columbo' a lot". Then, no one seemed to have known what "Columbo" was... OH NO (even though, TBH I have never watched that legendary TV drama. Should I have written "Twin Peaks" instead of it?).
