I worked early today. This morning, I thought about this: As I have mentioned/written in this serial journals so many times, I am autistic. How had the ancient people who tried to study this phenomenon thought about this idea? They wished this concept would help a lot of people who were suffering from their handicaps/difficulties? As a Japanese autistic person, who once had terribly hated this fact, my idea often went back to this idea even though I tried to think about several quite different ideas.
Thinking about autism (although I am only an amateur), I tend to remember Steve Silberman's masterpiece "Neurotribes". About 10 years ago, I bought the Japanese translated edition of that book in Himeji, and read it. Even though some trustworthy people said its translation seemed to contain several mistakes (and also, it is an "edited", "shorten" one), it taught me plenty of interesting facts about autism.
Because of this autism, basically I can't enjoy any small talk, and also can't drive a car. TBH, I am so broke that I can't live independently by myself alone, therefore I have to keep in touch with other helpers/welfare systems. Definitely, some people would call this a typical "low life", even though now I can accept (and ignore) those people's silly cruelty .
This is just my narrow impression: Now, from this viewpoint it seems that the concept of autism (or "being a coward" in each one's consciousness) seems to work so exclusively, therefore they (maybe I'm also?) tend to express how hard they have to live their hard life so much, not to accept other people's opinions with tolerance. I remember that once I had been soaked into that sort of obsession which kept telling me I must have been a social victim, and it needed a very long time to get out of that deep hole (at least, I guess now I can get liberated/released from that obsession).
After having a lunchbox, I enjoyed the soundtrack of an impressive movie of mine, "Searching For Sugar Man", and tried to write the rest of my novel. However, I couldn't do so. Still, I must be tired. After today's work, therefore, I chose not to "work" anymore, instead, I took a rest (with opening the pages of Tadanori Yokoo's public journal).
