Probably, yesterday I had learned plenty of things from/through the meeting of the English Studying Club. Also, I still must have been tired. Today, I worked late. Therefore, this morning I had enough time to do any tasks such as writing the rest of my novel, or trying to translate the text (a part of "Harry Potter") I got at that meeting. Or, I could read a book or try to write a draft for the presentation I would do the next Thursday. However, I had no motivation to do anything (definitely, I was so tired).
I was at AEON. There, I saw a woman who was wearing a beautiful "kimono (a Japanese traditional costume/cloth)", which reminded me of the fact that today was so-called "coming of age" day in Japan, in which we Japanese celebrate the new adults who have become 20 years old. I’ve remembered how my 20-years-old days were when I was a college student in Tokyo, where I had been feeling "isolated" in such a crowded place like Paul Auster’s novels.
At that time, I had never learned the concept of autism (I was diagnosed as an autistic guy at my 33). All I can remember about that era were these things. I started "touching" the computers in the university which were liberated for the students, and through them I had been into the vast Internet/cyberspace. I was deeply interested in so-called Britpop music such as Blur and Oasis, and also Japanese sophisticated music (maybe, so-called "city pop"?) like Cornelius. Yes, it was all before I became a miserable heavy drinker... Onto my memo pad, I wrote these ideas in English as usual.
On a LINE group for English learners, the admin asked me about how the diagnosis of autism could have changed my life. As I have written in these journals always, at first (during my 30s) I must have had a huge trouble accepting this difficulty (I use this word instead of "handicap"), and needed a long time to "digest" the fact as a part of my identity. Oh, since that age, 30 years have actually passed... How drastically has it changed me? Or, my elemental core of soul/identity has been the same... maybe eternally?
