During this morning's work time (I worked early today), I remembered an event in my 30s. Where should I start the story... When I read an episode of Temple Grandin who is famous as an autistic scientist, I thought it could be almost the same life as mine. Therefore, I told a female friend in Tokyo about that (then, she said, "If you hadn't thought of yourself as autistic, 'it' says you're very autistic!"). After that, I confessed to a doctor in a mental clinic about that, and also said that I wanted to visit any clinic in Osaka. Then, that doctor said to me "You can test whether you're autistic in here".
So, I decided to take the WAIS-IV test. Before that test, a female staff member from that clinic and I had time to look back at my life history and various issues. Now, I can't remember precisely what I told her about them. However, even now, I can remember crying a lot in front of her. She showed me empathy, and said "It must be tough for you to earn that amount of money from your job!" (even though at that moment I had been thinking about if I would accept a certain basic welfare from the country).
In those days, what kind of ideas had I had in my mind? I could have imagined how I would be able to "revenge" on my ex-classmates (After that test, I met a person from the same high school again when I was in my 40s. He said to me clearly "Cheer up!"). In those days, even I didn't understand what autism is, but (or, therefore?), I just hated this autistic character very terribly... A tiny memorial event, but for me it was a very impressive one.
On a server on Discord, someone said they would publish an electric magazine by themselves. Therefore, they need articles from members. After coming back to my room, I had dinner. Then, I started "incubating" various ideas in my mind. In those days of my 30s, although it must be very embarrassing to share with you, I tried to write some short stories actually to independent mini magazines an ex-friend published, even though my friendship with her had broken up, and I threw them out completely. My autistic brain character must disturb my steady writing, therefore if possible I would try to write fragmental sketches from my memory... Like Sebalt had done (what a bold ambition!).
