I worked late today. This morning, I joined the daily English meeting on Zoom. There, we talked about various topics in English; the main theme was how stressful teachers' working situations can be (I remembered that my ex-job coach was once an English teacher in a school). After that, a member asked us why young people choose to live their lives as single people (in other words, why they choose not to get married), which led to a more passionate discussion.
TBH, although I have already written about this, I am 49 years old and still single (I have never experienced any romance). After graduating from my university (and failing to find a new job as a newcomer), my life had to go wrong with my drinking habit (literally, EVERY DAY I had drunk a lot of cans of beer) so there was no possibility of romance or any funny event. Remembering that, I wonder why I am now staying alive with this sober mind.
After that meeting, I went to AEON. There, I started thinking about various things (from silly ones to philosophical ones). Looking inside my mind, many "amorphous" prototype ones are waiting for me to get verbalized. For example, recently I read a book about a philosopher Quine, that told me how miraculous our communication could be. For example, if I say "Angels don't exist", it can deliver a certain meaning even though what I say is about the thing that doesn't exist in this world (therefore, we talk about that based on each one's imagination, therefore can't show anything). How enigmatic our communication is!
Like that, I went down into a well in my mind and started facing my unconsciousness... When I was young and relatively ignorant, I tended to try to join any topics that were going on Twitter that other people were passionately discussing, to become/pretend a sort of "virtual" critic. I won't say it could be wrong, but at least, now naturally I tend to face my issues as a so-called life works, which are such as how our communication can be mysterious (and sometimes impossible), and also how my identity (or ego itself) is basically chaotic like a boiled potage soup. How can I crystalize this "crap" into any words?
