I worked late today. This morning, I joined the English meeting on Zoom as usual, and discussed the trend of recent job hunting with other members. Each person shared their experience in turn, and I shared my stories. In my case, looking back to my past days I have to say that it was a very terrible time because Japan had to get through its serious economic depression (after the "bubble" economic growth) therefore simply almost no companies tended to decrease their newcomers. In addition, as you already know, I am an autistic person so I need to care for my handicap while working anywhere. Oh, what a life.
One participant asked me whether I liked my current job. That question was completely unexpected, but I answered that now I can say I like my job well. After that meeting, I went to AEON to enjoy a morning activity, reading. But, maybe because of the mental pressure from my job, I couldn't concentrate on any books. So I gave up and started thinking about my past life when I could have achieved literally nothing.
As Japanese slang, we have the word 親ガチャ "oya gacha [if I try to translate it into English, it could be 'parent lottery' as many Japanese have already suggested]". This idea tells us that our lives can be controlled by probably the cruelest element, luck. Me, once I thought that I must have been one of the most miserable guys in this world because this autism had prevented me from living a so-called beautiful human life at all.
This morning, I thought about this idea. I am male, autistic, Japanese, etc... Many pieces of identity I have in myself. Some of them have been inevitable for me. That even brought me the idea that I must have been a really powerless, desperate guy who had to live this weird life alone without expecting any help. Yes, I even tried to become as tough enough as I could survive this life alone. Now, I can live a very loose life because there must be a firm friendship among us, even though I sometimes wish that I could have more money.
