This morning, I joined the Zoom meeting in English to enjoy practicing. We talked about our past regrets and what we would do in the future. I joined halfway through that discussion so I couldn't express my opinions enough, but it was a very interesting/provoking topic. What am I having the inner essence called any "regret" in this life?
Looking back on my past days, my school days must have been very grey, very barren period. TBH, I have never experienced any love/romance in those days, but just read a lot of books and also enjoyed plenty of music. However, now I think it could happen. Maybe there could be someone who loved me, but... who can see it?
TBH, from this point I say that I have no regret in my past. But it won't mean that my school days must have been a perfect period. I just say that I could have done what I could do on those days, or more precisely I can't think of any alternative, possible way of spending my school days. NOW, I can think of some wishes I could have had on those days such as the first kiss (yes, even now I have never hugged someone else in this life), enjoying movies, and doing English harder. However, I should "give up" having any huge ambition which hides my true weakness from me.
Even though I couldn't have any huge, brilliant achievements in my past days because of this alcohol addiction and also autism, at least I have done what I should do at every moment... Probably someone else can tell another/different opinion about this, and it can be more correct/realistic than mine. But, I have to beg to say this. I have done what I have wanted to do at every moment, therefore I guess I have no regret, just a certain "invisible touch" in me that says I could have done enough even though it is never perfect.
This evening, after today's task in my workplace, I went back to my group home. There, resting for a while, the admin of my group home called me to tell me that today we were going to enjoy a BBQ party as dinner in the main house of the group home (Oh my autistic mind! I had forgotten completely). I went to there and had a great dinner, and after that, I slept quietly for a long time because of today's hard work. Dear reader, this is my life. At least from me, there can be nothing to regret!
