This morning, I went to the bookstore in AEON to buy something, and found a favorite author Genichiro Takahashi's new book, "What is to write? [高橋源一郎『「書く」って、どんなこと？』]", so I bought it. After that, I started reading that book at AEON's food court and found that it is written about the so-called alter ego or the "inner child" in each one. In other words, through this book, the author Takahashi seems to try to explain the enigma of writing something, which must be out of our control.
After reading that, I started thinking about "my" writing (yes, the memoir I have been trying to write recently). TBH, I can never find any good first sentence that would guide me to write the coming ones. Takahashi suggested to me through that book that I shouldn't try to think too much to write, and just let that alter ego write/vent on and on automatically. At least, according to this book, Takahashi's debut novel could be written by that automatic, natural writing power that flooded from somewhere beyond one's ability.
As a baby bird who is trying to be an author (even though I can't become a pro-author), I can understand what Takahashi is saying. As for me, for example, by writing these journals I find that there must be another self in mine who enables me to write my truths beyond my consciousness's limit of ability, and also lets me vent on various things which makes me find out what I have been thinking under the surface of my mind again.
However, as you know, becoming natural enough to let out what you think freely must be one of the most difficult things to do easily. At least, for me, I tend to crush the wall/barrier in my mind that has separated my hidden, even dangerous and anti-social ideas from this reality. No, I never want to write anti-social, anarchic content in my memoir. But maybe I will write the things I have hidden or tried to forget completely through this life. Probably I would start the first sentence with this. "Who is the one writing this sentence? Who am I? No, I am calling to you who are always within me, and always watching me through this life".
