I worked early today. This morning, I chatted with a woman from Brazil in English on Discord. After that, I attended a morning English meeting on Zoom, where I sent a woman who we had talked a lot casually a friend request (but before that, I sent her a message to ask permission as I always do because I believe any sudden friend request can work very rudely). After that, I started working at my workplace thinking about how to build friendships between the sexes. In other words, how can I make friendships with women (probably this kind of idea tends to come from the fact that I am just a misogynist)?
As I have written in these journals, when I was a kid I had been so terribly hated (or literally bullied) by female classmates in schools. This can mean that I had never experienced how first love could be, or how the feeling of being accepted by other people who have different sexuality (that means, in a way, the ones who possibly love me) could be... Young readers must read these opinions of mine as simply ridiculous ones I guess because now is truly the era of diversity. However, it seems in my mind a certain misogynistic essence that lets me think about women as abstract objects remains even now.
Now, when I look around myself there seem to be many women who show me their true friendships. It seems very strange because at least this character in me seems to have never changed drastically from my childhood. Since when I was a kid, I have been just an introverted bookworm who must have various controversial ideas (I can't see how you see me, but in my mind, there are really "blue" ideas as Prince's songs). The differences between now and the past can be, I guess, these as I have started accepting the fact of my autism, my "blue" mind, and also started using English to express those characters of mine in public.
This lunchtime, I learned news about an American famous rock band Green Day, who criticized Donald Trump severely. Even though I had already known their stance (in my impression, they had already shown "anti-Trump", and also "anti-imperialism"), I was surprised slightly because simply this kind of action must be very risky. In Japan, it seems on social media there are a lot of complaints about the prime minister and this government. Who is singing these complaints in their songs? I have to be careful enough to check what is happening now.
