How can I "use" the concept of "being autistic" as a useful card to survive this life? Today, I have thought about this topic mainly. Like when we play any tramp games with tactics, we can use this troublesome but wonderful concept to enjoy this life... You would think I must be kidding, but I am serious. As an autistic person, now I can have this optimistic, even dreamy attitude in public.
Indeed, on the other hand, I don't want to agree with any too optimistic opinions such as autism must be the evidence of being a genius or having gotten a gift from God, etc. Even though it could be so, at least looking at my past traumatic days I find that being autistic can have meant walking through the road which has plenty of hurtful thorns. Therefore, I want to stay realistic enough (it means I try to remain "pessimistic" enough to see reality clearly).
I remember... when I was a teenager, already in school I had been bullied (or hated) by anyone else terribly. Now, I accept those miserable events as precious lessons (even though I had to spend expensive things on those lessons I had not asked for). Even after those school days, I had to face the trauma with strong depression, and also obsession. Sorry if you accept this story as I have expressed how I am miserable because in a way this is even "banal" life history from any autistic person.
Today, on Twitter I read that someone had written his opinion that autism must not be an almighty card to make an excuse to avoid trouble. I agree with him and also think that, by rewriting an interesting quote, in a way autism might be becoming the last refuge of a weak person (should I use a stronger word, "coward"?). I don't want to blame anyone else for the suspicion if they can be weak or not (I am weak enough, therefore even now I can't quit alcohol by myself alone). As one of my issues, I just want to gaze at my weakness enough to judge if I can overcome it or not.
After the work, I attended an English conversation class. Today, we talked about the so-called public shared places/spaces in America and Japan. For example, in buses, trains, and parks, etc. For me, American public spaces show how people express themselves actively. On the other hand, Japanese spaces show Japanese people's shyness therefore they have been kept neat and clean. What do you think about this?
