I worked late today. This morning, I enjoyed reading Amin Maalouf's book "In the Name of Identity" for a while. Suddenly, I asked this to myself. Have I tried to believe in any religion during this life? In my mind, is there any holy/religious belief? Maybe I have never tried to believe anything like God in this life. However, I want to have a sensitive attitude which can lead me to believe in any great/sublime thing in this world.
Throughout this life (yes, throughout this autistic one), I accept a simple fact - this belief of mine has been influenced/created by so many things. Especially, I have read plenty of books by now, and also enjoyed numerous pop songs. By trying to look deeply inside my mind, I can find that this unique mind can have been influenced by Japanese literature and also global/universal pop culture.
About this religious topic, I have to admit that I must have been just too simple/stubborn a dude, therefore I still have a certain, strong doubt which keeps on asking me if God actually exists in this world, or within my mind. I am just an outsider... Now, I try to remember how many pop stars and philosophers I respect have tried to reveal their enigma during their careers. I remember John Lennon and Nietzsche.
As a Japanese autistic guy, I have lived this strange, unique life with tough struggles (and throughout that process, I have asked if God exists certainly or not... or, in other words, I have asked if God has their worth enough to trust for me or not). Now, I believe that God is within each one's mind, always observes our behavior, and shows their holy wisdom through our mouths. In a way... God is a sort of our collective intelligence - a kind of imaginary CLOUD of our smartness?
BTW, on Discord I have found an important message about autism. I remember... when I was quite a young guy, most people shouldn't have known what Asperger's could be (at least, in this town, they hadn't heard of its name). Now, I find that the times are certainly changing - and my attitude toward it has been eventually changing by showing its wonderful aspects.
