I worked late today. This morning I started reading Inuhiko Yomota's "High School Bookish Life [四方田犬彦『ハイスクール・ブッキッシュライフ』]", which tells us how the author Yomota had spent his teenage days reading plenty of books. I have been deeply impressed because he must have quite keen senses (maybe it had come from his diligent ambition and curiosity). I remembered how my history of reading was.
As I have written in these journals, even though I had read Haruki Murakami's novels when I was 16, my reading life must not have been so brilliant. For example, I did not read Dostoevsky's novels until I was 40. Probably in my college life, I could have read some pieces of American literature such as Salinger, Capote, and Brautigan. But after that, I started that terrible drinking life until 40 - during those days, I could do nothing.
In those teenage days, I adored a so-called sophisticated, urban, "post-modern" life (at that time in the 80s and 90s, there was such a cool lifestyle supported by the "bubble" economy). In other words, I wanted to escape from this city's boring rural life. But after joining a university, I found that there must have been a hole or an emptiness in my mind that couldn't be satisfied with anything... now I can understand that it can come from my addictive mind.
And even now, I can see that my mind still has a deep, really deep hole. Even though I know it must be impossible to fulfill it completely, every day I try to do so. In other words, I am truly a book-addicted guy.
After that reading time, I went to the bookstore at AEON and found that there were some Japanese classic literature books such as Ryunosuke Akutagawa, Ango Sakaguchi, and Junichiro Tanizaki. I bought Ango's books and opened these' pages randomly. Ango writes in them "We must live on". I accept this message that I should feel certain "sweaty" things, even though it can sound uncool. Yes, I am alive now, therefore feel my body's warmth, and my body's movement vividly. These essences can be true evidence of how splendid this life experience can be.
