BGM: Blur - For Tomorrow
Today I went to the hospital to see the doctor. We talked a little about my autism at there. I remember... When I was a college student, I read Wataru Tsurumi, a Japanese columnist's book. He had written in that book as "If you are in troubles, you should go to meet the doctor to get the medicines" and "Let's 'tune' your head up to live an easier life!". I started attending the hospitals by that, and about 20 years passed... I had thought that "The medicines would solve all the problems of mine", but it couldn't be such an easy issue. As I wrote before, I have to face the fact that all of the reasons of these difficulties are from my autism. That can't be solved completely because it can't be cured by any medicines. But I never want to say "I'M MISERABLE"... I can remember this. Once I had said to another doctor that "I want to use the system of welfare by getting the supporting handbook by the government", and he said "Then, you could be the person who are going to be fired the next", "You shouldn't do that". Indeed, the situation about autism has changed drastically. The times are changing as Bob Dylan sings.
A friend taught me this YouTube video via Discord. It tells us how to learn so-called "second language" effectively. I learned from this video that inputting is the key to learn. Of course, outputting is also effective. But at first, trying to input something to ourselves will work as an engine to use that outputting... I have been impressed by watching that. Recently I have kept on doing the outputting mainly on clubhouse. Attending the rooms actively, I have tried to communicate with a lot of people to talk freely about several situations. In other words, I have tried to output too much to remember how important the inputting can be. So this video is a good key to me. I have to read the books I haven't read. For example, English paperbacks of Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood" or Vladimir Nabokov's "Lolita"... steadily, step by step. Yes, I need to read them with tough efforts. It won't be pleasant. But it can have the worth to be done.
This evening I attended to an room on clubhouse because I had a time. A English teacher was the host of that room so I asked her "Which is important, outputting or inputting?". Then she asked me in contrary. "Which do you think?". I had never expected that so my head got blank, but I answered from that blank. "I guess outputting is important because I want to overcome my shyness" (Indeed, my answer couldn't be so smooth like this) Then she answered me. "I agree with you", "I have been teaching my students as 'you should do outputting three times than your inputting in my salon'". I was impressed. Yes, they taught me paradoxical opinions each other. But I accept them as I should choose the answer which would fit me because there is no 'absolutely correct' answer. I need to judge which is correct by looking at my characteristics. It is an important learning for me. There is no royal road in learning.
By the way, on learning English, I have to feel the wonder of learning it in Japan. Of course, English is a global language therefore many, so many people are learning it. Improving their careers, living in their daily lives, enjoying travelling... But in Japan, besides those actual purposes, we can find some 'snob' reasons as "Being fluent in English is cool!". But I never say that "Therefore Japanese is foolish". It is too easy, and also it wouldn't be creative. At least, I think that it is important to think "I am cool because I am learning English". That will provide you a certain confidence. And more, I want to treat the sensitiveness to the others through communicating English. From tomorrow, I will attend the English conversation class our city holds. Who can I meet? How can I express myself? I can't wait for tomorrow...
