跳舞猫日録

Life goes on brah!

2022/12/30 English

BGM: Cornelius "Star Fruits Surf Rider"

I bought a red notebook because I want to write a memo about my novel like Paul Auster. From today (not from new year's day) I started a memo about it. As I wrote this once, I want to write my hidden essence, hentai things. Once I was attracted by the conversation and reflections of the characters in "Norwegian Wood". Or once I read some "nerdy" magazines deeply and seriously, and I thought about a certain weird wish because I was shocked by the Tsutomu Miyazaki incident... I want to write about them.

I remembered my high school days, which were a huge nightmare for me. I could have no friends to talk to freely, so I read Banana Yoshimoto and Masahiko Shimada alone... I just believed that I was the person who could see the whole world and analyze it completely. I was just young and a fool... I want to write about this in my coming novel. Ah, at that period all I could imagine was just becoming a writer, so I read a lot of books. I wanted to be someone... a foolish obsession. I had to learn other things.

I exchanged messages with a person I can trust each other on LINE. I met her, and her daughter and everything started from that. I fell in love, and also I started learning English seriously, etc. By that, I tried to think that love is a creation of the imagination. It's just fiction. But I actually got shocked and stunned by the thunder and had to face my thought to reconstruct myself. It was a hard, but precious experience. Yes, love makes us stronger. Falling in love, and I started to try to become an adult.

Today, during the break from my work I thought "how should I spend the breaking time like this?". Do I need to learn English for TOEIC? I started thinking about the skill of English of mine. It could be a valuable time if I checked my skill with some tests, and tried to improve more on that result. How high does my skill in English get? I learned English because I love it simply. Without concerning talent and passion, I just like learning so will keep on doing it. I hope I can show my writing to more readers. I am just that kind of person, and it's simply my nature.