BGM: Depeche Mode - Everything Counts
Recently I noticed that my money has been lost drastically because I bought socks or refills for my "system note". But in addition to those "needed" consuming, I must admit that I overeat from the pressure of this "end and begin" season. I need to try to save my money and think about my usage of money again. And, in addition to saving money, I have to get used to the state of having some money and staying safe. I have been soaked with poverty, so I might feel comfortable using my money and letting it go. I might not be able to have money with comfort... I should get used to it. Saving it, and trying to keep it. I have to make that effort.
I read Oquba Nikaidou's "The butterfly with eight legs". This might seem too clear, but we have to recognize that "Oquba Nikaidou" is not her real name. She gave herself that name and tried to bring the "Oquba Nikaidou" up preciously. In other words, she tried to separate herself into two personalities. I might be able to use the words "subject and object". She treated herself as an "object" and tried to make that larger. But that is never strange because we ourselves are also the people who make our objects. We live with those objects. At least, I am also making my object by giving it the name "disco cat".
I am interested in having the question of how we live with a divided and reunion mind. How does it affect our minds? We might able to make the "ideal self" as our objects. But that is just an "object", not a "subject" or "this myself"... I have to stop my thought by this point. The hardship of living with a separated mind, and reunion. I had an interest in that. The closer this book comes to the end, the more she got confused. From the forest of a lot of quotes from the books she read I felt that I could hear the screaming. A really impressive book... I can't say anything else.
This evening I attended an online meeting and listened to the story of an owner of a charity shop in our town. The story spread from the real story of that shop to the voluntary help of the residents of our city. It's too simple that our government or city does nothing at all. But we should think about the fact that it is possible to do "our own" activities and face "reality". We might have to do an effort to change the situation. The story went to the problems we are having, and we could exchange various opinions actively. I have to go to the charity shop to see what is happening. I wish that my consuming activity helps her, although it could be really a little.
