BGM: John Lennon "Imagine"
Today I talked with a person who had enjoyed this diary a little. She asked me about my English, but I want to say that I don't have such a big confidence in my English well. My pronunciation is not good, and also I can't say my words fluently. But, like Taro Okamoto, a Japanese artist's quote "Art is an explosion", "Even if my pronunciation isn't good and the skill of talking is also not good, I have to look at that poor myself as a lifesize one and push it to outside. That's all that I can do". I think like that and try to speak. Referring to Taro Okamoto, might not be a technical artist but showed himself with big confidence so they became great pieces of his art.
I remember... when I was 13 years old I started learning English at a school. So I have learned English for over 35 years. When I was a university student, I had an interest in translation and even learned about American literature. But when I tried to get a job, I stumbled and got desperate to live. So I almost threw away everything. Of course, I didn't learn English at that period so I admit that I have a blank. So I say that I need more practice than the people who learn seriously and try to test themselves by TOEIC or study abroad (I think that the people who enjoy learning at English conversation clams nearby train stations are learning harder than me).
But, from somewhere in my life, I decided to think that "I never want to compare my English with someone's". Once I dissed myself and was disappointed thinking "why do they speak such fluently?" or "I can never get better because I should need to learn my English outside of Japan". I used to compare myself with others almost every time. But such jealousy or envy won't make me happy. I am myself and that's all. Of course, I want to learn pronunciation and conversation, but I just compare myself with past myself, and try to find tiny progress I make little by little, and also enjoy that. Yes... I try to stop drinking alcohol and do my job. Everything is the same. Compare me with the past, then I will think that my life is getting better.
At night, I attended a meeting and enjoyed the presentation about the travel to Prince Edward Island, which is known well as the place of "Anne of Green Gables". He showed a lot of pics of elegant greenery so I felt almost like I could go there as a nice trip. Enjoying the place of a famous book... I wish it would be nice. How about a trip to a French town described in "In Search of Lost Times"? (Indeed, I always stop reading at the moment the main character has a Madeleine). I certainly enjoyed a good time.
