Recently I have been reading Takashi Akutsu's "Diary of Reading". I might be feeling that kind of mood. I think that I should read the books I have never read (TBH I have never enjoyed "The Great Gatsby" so I want to read it deeply), but I am also feeling conservative and choosing the books I have felt interested in. Is now that mood for me? This morning I talked about money with a friend on ZOOM, and also with the staff of my group home. I swore that I would save money for buying a new personal computer etc.
After that, I went with my parents to a restaurant with Izawa no Sato which is near the apartment I live. I ate lunch there. I talked about the work of a volunteer translater I had done at the city festival to them. They seemed to be surprised. I was... I lived a very low life even if I had graduated from Waseda, so it took a long time for me to become having pride in my job and live positively. Yes, I am not a good son, but I could feel that I could have gotten better to be an adult. I remember the days I had closed my mind to them, and just drank a lot of alcohol. After those days, I can have lived very meaningful days.
This afternoon, after a nap, I watched a Netflix documentary "The Mystery of Marilyn Monroe: The Unheard Tapes". I just knew that Marilyn Monroe was quite a smart person in real, but I thought that she had lived a really difficult life to survive men's society as that kind of person. I got loved, Marylin. On Netflix, we can watch the sensational movie "Blonde" which describes her life. I will check it, and I'm glad to become having an interest in movies. I won't stop watching movies and thinking about my thought deeply even if I was dissed heavily.
In the evening I went to the "danshu" meeting and talked about the Izawa no Sato. I also talked about feeling the mood of Xmas near Aeon... Referring to Xmas, I have lived as a single person so had to spend this season as lonely Xmases. I even spent my days with alcohol, turning back to the world. I believed that I shouldn't be born... I have to admit that now I still live lonely Xmases, but I can feel that positive ideas as enjoying jazz or watching Woody Allen's movie to celebrate this Xmas. Can we say that this is "The Times They Are A-Changin"?