2022/10/13 English

When I talked at my workplace that I would work as an interpreter at the city festival, my co-workers praised me so much. Of course, this has still no real shape, so I shouldn't become any bigmouth. But I was very glad about the fact that there are some people who are pleased with me. Their actual smiley faces are my hope I thought. Their smiles mean that there are some people who can have the emotion of pleasure with me, or who just think and worry about me. I'm not alone... that fact impressed me. I could work today with that fact.

I'm just a tiny human being so sometimes get haunted by huge anger. TBH I can lose myself with anger. But I always try to remember the information that tells us "the peak of any emotion would go away after 6 seconds". If I lose myself, I should stay still. After that, I have to think about it again. That's the duty I give to myself. Remembering the past days, I sometimes lost myself with anger and fought with others on the net. Yes, it was shameful. These days, everything would turn into a frame so this kind of experience might be impossible to owe.

I confessed the truth to the staff of my group home. I might have to give up the pleasant life there. It might be a dream inside another dream. But, of course, throwing everything away and escaping somewhere must be prohibited. I have to do the work my workplace provides, and also have to do the work for the city festival. I never omit various trusts I have made. Of course, I should learn English more even in this state. I am a loser, but I want to keep my gentleness. This must sound anachronic, but this is just "a pride as a man".

At night, I attended a meeting on ZOOM. A member gave a lecture about autism. It was about a boy who is good at memorizing "visible" information. Every person has their best way of learning. Me, I am good at reading letters. Other people might be good at looking at pictures or listening to music. Not treating students evenly, just looking at the difference between them and synchronizing for their characters. That is important in my opinion. I was asked about a job coach so I told my opinion. I enjoyed myself, but I slept soon because I was already down.