It's certainly getting chilly. This morning I went to Aeon and thought of various ideas as a morning activity. I watched some conversations in the LINE group that I belong to and thought that I am precisely connected with other friends. Connection... For example, if I see Twitter or LINE, then I can recognize that I am connected with others. I am just a piece that builds this world. This idea eases my loneliness and I understand that I can't deny other people in my life. Once I hated others by a kind of allergy and tried to be lonely, but now I never think about it.
This morning I met a staff of my group home and talked for a while, and after lunch, I went to a city office and met a person there. He is the person who supports me in the project of job coaches. I feel thankful for it. He talked about the skill of my English and the fact that I was a heavy drinker. Therefore he also spoke about the past I won't want to remember. But, understanding the fact that I have lived the past days like an invisible war, and also have lost the youthful or glorious days, I think that these days are a kind of 'the blue period' for me. Even if I never want to go back to those days.
Recently, I have been interested in Korean culture. I want to begin watching "Extraordinary Attorney Woo" again. Yes, this is influenced by Ryuichi Sakamoto's "undercooled". I have to be ashamed because I have never been able to follow the Korean great culture. I might have invisible discrimination so I have to reflect on myself. At the library, I borrowed a Korean novel by Lee Seung-Woo. I read a little and found that he refers to Rilke. It makes me a little bit excited because I like Rilke.
This evening I went to the 'danshu' meeting and talked about the job coaches and the person I met today. After going back to my group home, I had time so wrote "undercooled". I remember about the past period I had drunk heavily. Every time I write about those drunken days, I find that I can't have made any progress. The people around me walk forward exactly. The situation also changes little by little. I should adapt myself to that. I got some comments on my server on Discord so felt thankful for them. I sometimes got heartful comments about this diary. Yes, I'm glad to read them...