BGM: SAKEROCK "スーダラ節"
I read Nayuta Miki's "The Observatory of Words". I accepted that this book was a trial of using a profound philosophy in our life. She writes about the communication we have. Me, I am also a person who can't have perfect(100%) confidence in using words and delivering my thoughts. Words might have some possibilities of misreading, misunderstanding, and therefore troubling but the world goes around. Then, our life might be based on a really miracle system. I even think it must be wonderful. This book by her tells about that kind of emotion of wonder we can taste in our life. Is this just my 'misreading' too much?
Like that, I try to think about philosophy in my daily life too. Then, I notice that I was basically a troublemaker in communicating in the past. The terror and wonder from the question of why I can deliver my thought by words. In the past, Hiroki Azuma might call this case as 'misdelivering', but we can communicate each other and the world goes around. But I can't believe that case of communication and, in fact, I had said a lot of things that were out of tune and therefore been bullied. These things have made me have the habit of overthinking like this. Oh my, I can't explain myself well(I need to think about this).
At night, I read Kisei Kobayashi's book "The Touch of Father". In this book, there go two stories in parallel. The one is about 9.11 and the other one is about the death of his father. His sensitive writing, and also the act of looking at himself straightly attract me. The people who are from outside sometimes talk about things Kobayashi has never expected, and Kobayashi moves by the ethic he has himself. Yes, it might mean losing. But his straight attitude from his serious character moved me, so I read this deeply. I also thought about my life itself. Although this book doesn't have a great happy ending, I exactly had the touch of a great book.
Nowadays I'm listening to Ryuichi Sakamoto's music again and again. I'm using various playlists that gathered his piano works, and listening to the songs like "energy flow" and "Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence". Once I didn't like them because they were too melodious, but listening to them after I had experienced various failures in my life, that melodious essence becomes a great taste. I read the book by Kisei Kobayashi, which I wrote above, with Sakamoto's music. I think about the shape of my life. My life never is cool. But it is my life therefore important. Ah, what kind of life will wait for me?