It was a very crisp morning today. Ah, though I always write this, such a crisp day brings me the memory of my young drunken days. I can't drive any cars, so at that time I could go nowhere even if it was a day off, and I just drank a lot of cheap liquors because I had no money and was bored. Yes, I just drank and slept all day... Ah, I even wished I could die by alcohol. Now I can live with a sober mind and Pat Metheny's music. This ordinary fact has certain happiness for me.
I read Yoko Tawada's "The Emissary". I can always feel from her works certainly funny and thrilling humor (or charm). But "The Emissary" brought me a nostalgic touch. I even thought that I had seen this scenery somewhere in Japan. I exactly watched a touch of 'now' at the scene elder people help young people's life paradoxically. This is the brief story of we Japanese, who had to experience 3.11 and corona. In this way, it might be one of the most 'vivid' novels now. Yes, this is exactly a dystopia.
At the closed group that I am a member of and talk about autism, a friend sent us a LINE message. She said that we are connected because we all are thinking 'we should support ourselves independently'. Exactly I might learn the principle of self-determination and self-responsibility. In the end, I should decide at the ultimate moment... The principle of self-help...caring for myself and deciding forward. But it is possible because true friendship or human relationship works as a safety net. This group is exactly such a great safety net. I'm feeling thankful for that.
Because of "The Emissary", I want to read her essay "Exophony". And also I want to write various memos of the notices I am getting by the process of expressing myself in English on Discord and WhatsApp. Once, a friend had said to me "Do you use any foreign language?" and I had said, "No way, I have never studied abroad". At that time, I couldn't imagine that I could express something in English like now. Ah, things change like this.
