2022/07/21 English

Today I worked early. At lunchtime, a friend shared with me a collection of Nightingale's quotes on Facebook. That collection embraced me exactly. I felt that her will said she would owe the responsibility to her life, and I thought I also should do so. Probably I would hate these quotes if I was young. Yes, I lived a very miserable life and believed that I couldn't change its situation, therefore I drank a lot. But I am sober now and can see this. Life can be changed by me, or I should say that I can change my attitude toward it by me.

And I felt thankful for her kindness that letting her share them with me. I thought that I was never alone again. Ah, when I met her for the first time, she told me about the episode of the 'first penguin'. Every group has a few active pioneers that try to change its state. I can't see if this is happy or not, but I accept that I am an autistic person. And I am now trying to move to change my workplace. I have never thought that I had such big potential in myself. I even thought that I would die alone without anything, but the situation exactly changed.

But I am not such a serious person at all. Or I can even say that I am just serious when I write something like this. In my life, I am just thinking about lewd ideas or ridiculous delusions (such as "Why do the golf balls have dimples? They crushed acne too much at their young age?"). Or I am just influenced by the book Andrey Tarkovsky"s "Sculpting in time" and think I should watch his movies again. Or I can say that I might be the most paradoxical person in this world. Yes, I am an idiot. I want to be a person who appears in Tarantino's movies.

At night I attended an online meeting. We had the topic of scams. The host told us about his personal episode that he had written his personal information into the sight of a 'fake' Amazon one. And it leads us to the topic of the relationship between Amazon and real book stores. We also talked about friend requests on Facebook and the difficulty of using passwords. I didn't share this idea because I didn't want to confuse them, but I guess that the confusion of what the vaccination should be, and also the trouble of handling corona, might be seen as 'cheating'. Now we can see that infected people exactly increases. But we should see how many people are seriously ill or dead. This is the opinion of the co-worker I respect at my workplace. I have to check my literacy ability like this.