There are some interesting opinions in Tetsuya Furuta's book "The First Wittgenstein". "Once Wittgenstein answered the question by his friend that how to make this world better. 'Change yourself better'. That is only one thing you can do to make this world better". Yes, you might say that what bullshit to this opinion. If you wanted to make this world better, then you must change this outer world. Changing the politic better and also the society. That is the real 'change' of the world.
Indeed... but I want to stand by Wittgenstein's opinions. Of course, that kind of changing this society has an exact meaning. But we also have to make our recognition's version upper and broaden that one's limit. If we didn't do so, it would mean nothing has changed. And that kind of changing myself must be very difficult. "The decision of changing our attitude, position, the way of thinking is very difficult for us". "We want to stay in the current situation and are afraid of being changed. Therefore we need a certain courage".
Once I was a heavy drinker, and now I guess that I was afraid of being changed by myself. If I became sober, I would have to see the problem I have directly. If I drank a lot of alcohol by saying "Death in alcohol must be sublime", then I would not see any problems honestly. But at last, I chose to change this myself. This must sound abstract but I chose to be a human being, not an angel. Standing on the earth and living with many wounds. Changing myself with the relationship with the world. Have I changed myself even if it might be a little different?
I have progressed about using some job coaches in my workplace, and the story about it has changed a little today. I won't write about it because it's too early to explain exactly. I can say that the process of using job coaches is equal to the one of commitment to the real world for me. Ah, once our boss and co-workers couldn't understand the fact I am an autistic person, so I had to work as a living dead. Being drunk with a lot of alcohol and said that I wished for death... but the time changes and the world also does. My recognition also can be changed. I shouldn't be afraid of being changed.
