Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/05/05 English

I finished reading Brady Mikako's "Europe Calling Returns". This is a collection of columns about the economy and politics in Europe and the UK. I could get a lot of things from this book because it is written in plain words which tells difficult things smoothly. I felt that this book contains many articles about foods. For example, about the food bank and the children who can't eat breakfast because of poverty. The feeling of hungry, the feeling of our life is connected to the theme of how to live in this cruel world, and also to the issues of politics. She doesn't talk about abstract themes but keeps on thinking about actual issues. Because of it, I felt I can trust her.

Today was the birthday of my father. This year he will be 86 years old. Once I hated him. He hadn't admitted my effort even if I had graduated from a university and started working after the period of NEET. He had a strict mind and kept keeping it. But he has changed and now he supports my effort of seeking my happiness at my pace. Yes, I can feel it. I remember my drunken days. I had lost the will of living on and showed shameful myself in front of him. Ah, I was a bad son. I have to be shameful of it.

I remember that I had an embarrassing feeling about being born into this world. I shouldn't be but I am in this world... once I talked about this to my ex-classmate. She said that "I felt really sad if my children said such a thing". Ah, this hurting idea might sound terrible to my parents. I had stopped drinking alcohol and started thinking about autism seriously, which must be one of my lifelong problems of mine. Yes, on thinking about it, I met important people. I guess I could be changed because I showed my weakness to them. Ah, life is really wonderful.

I heard a piece of good news. I met a user on Discord. She said that she started writing her own journal about learning Japanese because she had been influenced by this journal of mine. It sounds embarrassing, but I am glad to hear that news. I couldn't keep on doing anything. I was too hurried to achieve the result. I couldn't understand how to achieve something step by step with any quiet effort. Now I have been writing a journal every day and saving the logs step by step. So I can check the achievement compared with the past. At last, I found such a secret in writing journals.