Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/04/12 English

I read Saburo Kawamoto's "Like in movies". I'm always impressed by Saburo Kawamoto's "lightness" or "plainness". He is so natural like a mature fighter's martial arts (I say even if I don't know about those arts). He doesn't show his power too much. And also his criticism has its depth exactly. He doesn't have any thorn to hurt our minds meaninglessly. His voice is so clear and strong. So some kind of freshness lasts. It might be too easy but I say he is quite a professional critic. It's funny that he treats women so kindly, but I should follow him and rise my antenna high.

I have been tired completely. My body and mind are down. I didn't watch a Netflix original documentary "The Andy Warhol Diaries" as I didn't yesterday. I spent my time wastefully reading Saburo Kawamoto's book as I wrote, and also lifting the pages of "The Andy Warhol Diaries" and Susumu Sogo's "Can't live without movies 2016-2018". I want to read Saburo Kawamoto's books more. How about the book about Kafu Nagai? The library in my town has it. Oh my gosh! Why do I read such a maniac book? I don't want to be a specialist in literature!

Then how do I want to be? A writer? Or an essayist? How do I want to be and why do I want so many books? I can't see how I want to be in the future. Just I'm doing what I feel pleasant. That leads me to Saburo Kawamoto's books and Yasujiro Ozu's movies. Or I should add it to thinking about Andy Warhol. Oh, I have no plans to be creative. I can't think of things with long spans. It's always been the same since my childhood. I have been bounded by 'now' so I can't make such as '10 years plan'.

I have so less desire because I have lived a modest and poor life. I eat my group home's good meals, and also watch Netflix movies and documentaries if I have time. Of course, I read books too. This season, I want to watch the movie "Sakura no sono" by Shun Nakahara. This life is cozy so I can't make any bigger plans such as grabbing money dynamically. A kind of 'understanding'? I just enjoy this world's randomness by letting everything go. I'm getting to understand such truth of this universe.