Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/04/11 English

Today I enjoyed reading Saburo Kawamoto's "Like in the movies" with Phil Collins's music. It makes me want to watch movies again. By touching Saburo Kawamoto's quiet writing, I can feel that I'm getting eased. As I always write, the recent taste of my reading has gone far from the trend. Nowadays I listen to Jazz or Genesis in their 80s, and I read Mikio Shibayama and Susumu Sogo besides Saburo Kawamoto, and also Paul Auster's past novels. Yes, it's too early to become 'retired' from the current. But what is the 'coolest' thing to enjoy now?

Curiosity in me makes me move to watch Yasujiro Ozu's movies and Mikio Naruse's unwatched movies. It always makes me move like that. In reading, I want to read Toshiki Komazawa and Saburo Kawamoto from the library. Or reading Hemingway's short stories might be also nice. Curiosity makes me think about various things like this. If I can sink into such 'thinking', I feel that I'm glad to be in this world. Yes, It might be nonsense even if I think about big things. That can be the right opinion. But I can't deny the pleasure of thinking itself. I can feel flooding ideas, and that lets me think I'm glad to be born.

Recently I met an event. It told me that this journal has been read by truly various people. TBH I had a serious suspicion as "Maybe nobody read this?". I have to think about this again. Trustable people read this journal. But I sometimes get haunted by the desire of being accepted so I should keep the habit of writing by treating my point of view preciously. I have to make the readers who are in front of me funny. Keep the tension calm. Sometimes with Pizzicato Five's music.

Today I had to help with the reforming of my company. I had to do unfamiliar duties as help so got tired very well. At the 'dansyu' (this means 'stopping drinking alcohol') meeting, some members say that we can feel the tiredness of work as comfortable if we stop drinking. But today I don't have such a mind. Ah, once I thought strictly that "I must not be born to do such a work!". But now I feel that this work fits me because of unfamiliar reasons. I have done this work for over 20 years even if I couldn't see how to do it. That might be our life.