Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/04/02 English

I'm wondering what I should read next. The books which I have never read seem interesting... It's embarrassing but TBH I have never read Junichiro Tanizaki's "The Makioka Sisters". One of my favorite critics Saburo Kawamoto writes about "The Makioka Sisters" so I want to read both of them. It must be interesting. Or reading "Cold Blood" by Truman Capote, which I had bought but have never read, must be great. I feel that reading books is pleasant. When I sink into Danilo Kiš’s style, I can forget the time passing. It also might be interesting of reading Kafu Nagai's books, which once I had borrowed but couldn't read.

Of course, as Roland Barthes and Kenzaburo Oe say, 'repetitive reading' is the greatness of reading. Ah, reading Kenzaburo Oe's short stories selected by himself in Iwanami bunko might be good. I couldn't understand his 'major' and 'mega' novels such as "The Silent Cry" and "The Game of Contemporaneity", but the stories about his family's modest and happy daily life such as "Rouse Up, O Young Men of the New Age!" and "A Quiet Life" are good. I can remember that I had read Kenzaburo Oe and Kenji Nakagami seriously when I had no jobs.

A friend of mine lined me that Sakura has bloomed near her office with pics. I also had seen that Sakura was blooming but didn't learn that it has bloomed almost completely. If I get a day off, I want to take pics of Sakura and show them to Judith and other friends of mine. I remember that I had drunk alcohol with the excuse that I wanted to enjoy Sakura. Everything could become an excuse to drink alcohol. Now I never think that. I thought this was happy because I can feel the tiny sign of changing seasons.

Eric Hoffer, one of my favorite ideologues, says 'The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness'. It's a powerful truth. I must ask if the 'happiness' I had thought of is 'real happiness', and if 'that happiness' has worth chasing. I thought it must be important. In my case, I can feel the warmth of sunlight through the healthy body I have. I also can enjoy the meals the staff of my group home makes. And I can enjoy books and cinema. I think that I am a very 'cheap' person, but this is the way I go.