Am I just an empty person who has a beautiful public face? As I write usually, I think about money and women (I can say 'babe'?) when I am in my room. Besides them, I have selfish daydreams fanatically. I can describe myself with many 's". Sly, Straight, Serious, Smart, Stubborn, Strange, Selfish, Scattered mind, Stupid, Spoiled, Spicy, Sukebe(sorry!). I think that I can understand myself well, but people accept me with their smiles (but in my office, I am just an outsider). What the world is me? I am just a prism that shows various colors for other people.
A person said to me that my English journal has a lot of mistakes. Yes, I want to make them productive. I need more practice. I heard that a member spoke about 'perfect English' on Clubhouse. The problem of being silent with the pressure that one has to speak English perfectly. Kenji Ozawa sang 'I won't make the mistake of learning various kinds of words and not being able to speak any words'. But I guess that the situation in which one loses words in oneself completely might be not bad. That kind of 'lost words' might give us a brand new word.
In the night, I went to a meeting on ZOOM. I did a presentation about 'Engrish'. We start our discussion there and talked about how to learn English. A person said to us that learning English with gags and senses of humor might be good. Making funny sentences in English such as "Habu have hub" etc (yes, as you know this sentence is wrong). Or "Dear deer". I thought of the idea that we can say to men "Are you ready/lady?" because Japanese people have a certain difficulty in pronouncing L and R.
According to Wittgenstein's and Yoshio Kataoka's opinions, it is needless to say that we learn languages for not satisfied with ourselves selfishly. It is for communicating with others. Or we can say that it is for touching the outer world. At least, I have been able to know this world deeply by learning English. I can say that I also have learned Japanese newly with various native speakers' opinions. But learning the languages more, I should think about the mystery of this world. When I was a heavy drinker, I thought this world was just banal and boring. Now I can feel that this world is wonderful and funny, so I want to write about that truth in my novel 'A blue car'.
