Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/03/13 English

A day off today. I went to AEON and started reading Kazushi Hosaka's "Plainsong" with the music of Boards Of Canada. It's strange but Hosaka's words came through my mind smoothly. I even thought that at this moment these words were exactly 'for me'. I guess that I get satisfied if I think about philosophical ideas (so I like Rei Nagai's "The philosophers in water"). After that, I went to a library and borrowed two books. I thought if I can 'use' these books as a source of the novel I'm writing. But the problem is that the novel I'm writing might be uncool.

Sometimes I get apart from the book and think that "Why today is today?" and "Why won'T the same day as yesterday come?". These questions won't come above my mind 'intentionally'. Using the English expression, 'It' makes me think so. As I said once, when I speak English, 'it' lets me speak. Another personality in me or just an instinct... Anyway, I thought that it is important to control that 'itself' or another myself. When I write my novel, 'it' lets me write too. Never think about the meaning of writing. Just for feeding 'it'.

At last, I finished reading Kazushi Hosaka's "Plainsong". A perfectly made debut novel. Very fresh. It also has a thrilling touch that makes us think about the moment of beginning something new (Yes, Hosaka exactly brought 'new' essences to the field of literature). I thought that it has the fun of expressing 'horizontal 'connections. It doesn't say that vertical connection is a must (like our society or offices). He says that the connection of basically lazy people is important. The world is rich because we have the connection of that kind of 'maverick'. In a way, I live in the world Hosaka describes. But I write 'my' truth.

I heard that a woman confessed a problem on clubhouse. I guess that she was trying to speak 'perfect' English too hard (and she couldn't). My English is never perfect. ABSOLUTELY broken English. But if I want to share something, I throw away shyness and just do so. Not providing 'perfect' things, just trying to make the things 'perfect' with other people by our communication. Yes, if we were in a business scene, we needed to try to do it perfectly. But on lessons, I thought that letting 'our hearts' speak our truth in English. Just 'let it go'!